Where makes you?

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It was a loud and promising summer night at a popular bar in Kinsale, a small town on the southwest coast of Ireland and a haven for tourists drawn to delectable food, vibrant music, and that feel of “The Emerald Isle.”

My turn to get drinks, I move toward the bar and quickly notice them: Tall and tanned with friendly faces framing white-toothed smiles giving way to vigorous, but sincere laughter. Pressed chinos and button-down shirts: You couldn’t help but notice them.

I lean forward so Declan can hear me above the din, “Two white wines, a gin and tonic, and a vodka and coke. Thanks.”

One of the tall-tanned-friendly-smiling-button-downs leans left and downward toward my ear.

“What are your nationalities?” he asks.
“What are my what?” I ask back. I am genuinely unsure of what he has asked. Could he have asked me my name?

“What are your nationalities?” he perseveres.

Thoughts swirl: He thinks I didn’t hear him. What does he mean? Nationalities? Or did he say nationality? Wow, he has great hair. Uh-oh, he’s starting to wonder if my “confused face” is actually my “must find a bathroom” face. Come up with a charming way to continue this conversation.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what you mean.”
“I mean, where are your parents from? Let me guess, Sweden?

I get it now.

“Well, I hate to disappoint you, but my nationalities are Dublin and…Dublin.”

What are your nationalities?

Is it important to you to know them and do you identify with them?

dial 3-1-1

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What’s your emergency?

I’m stuck in my house because it’s cold, dark, and windy. Snow is on the way.

Kindle that feeling of summer fun with this video of 311 at the 2011 Pow Wow Festival.

Have a great weekend!

it stems from hope

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60 Minutes investigated and exposed the reckless practice of touting stem cell therapies to those suffering from genetic diseases such as cerebral palsy, multiple sclerosis, and autism (airdate 01.08.2012).

Dr. Joanne Kurtzberg, a respected stem cell researcher at Duke University, lent her expert and rationale voice to the piece; paraphrasing her statement: Stem cell technology holds great promise, but research is in its infancy. Stem cells are very difficult to control as therapy for the management or cure of a disease. Dr. Kurtzberg estimates we are 10 years away from seeing effective and safe stem cell therapies (sometimes called gene therapies), but they will come.

What should happen to “doctors” who fail to uphold their Hippocratic Oath and knowingly submit their patients to physical and emotional harm by possibly worsening their health and giving them false hope?

Parents seeking these treatments cannot be blamed. Parents are simply compelled to alleviate any hurt their child is experiencing. Parents want their children to have every opportunity for a pain-free and happy life. If you are a parent, recall that crushing hurt you feel when your child is not invited on a play date. Imagine for a moment being at the park and watching your autistic child sit alone, repeatedly sorting sand into piles, while three other children his age play soccer as a team.

What can you do? Give to a respected research center dedicated to stem cell research in your area. Support and call for governmental funding for stem cell research.

Read about the origins of the Hippocratic Oath here on PBS.org.

storytellers

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That ability to tell a story – one with a compelling opener, pitch-perfect timing throughout, and a clincher of an ending – is a talent. We can all ramble incoherently, losing our audience’s attention as we veer off-course, only to return with an ending welcome fifteen minutes earlier.

My husband is a great storyteller – a veritable Hans Christian Andersen of recollections. If I had a penny for every time I said, “Oh, it was hilarious, but I’ll let him tell you,” Oprah’s personal chef would be preparing breakfast as I write.

Is it a genetically innate gift? My father-in-law was also a captivating storyteller. He could tell a story about changing a plane ticket and leave us laughing until we begged for breath. The next day, compelled to repeat it for friends, my version of the story frequently ended with, “Oh, it was hilarious, but I should have let him tell you.”

Are you a natural raconteur?

There are dozens of storytelling festivals and hundreds of professional storytellers around the world, and an international celebration of the art on World Storytelling Day, a global celebration of storytelling. Shown here, the World Storytelling Day logo, designed by Swedish storyteller Mats Rhenman

feist, getting it right every time

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The last post borrowed a line from Brandy Alexander. Rather than dwelling on those deficient in character, let’s return to those who bring us beauty. Here is Feist singing Get it Wrong, Get it Right in a studio setting. There is something so incredibly simple, so impeccably clean, about it.

I hope you enjoy it.

my addiction to the worst of him

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Bad boyfriends: Those esteem-trampling, time-wasting, self-absorbed boys who offer only a pendulous love that swings between adoration and abandonment. They are especially potent immediately after our confidence has recovered from our “ugly teen stage” and ripe for dismantling, bit by bit, by a broken date here and hurtful remark there.

As we digested another holiday dinner, my sister-in-law recalled her bad boyfriend experience – a tale of dimmed foresight and parental disregard. Even now, accompanied by a tender husband and a gorgeous baby boy, her eyes saddened while recounting her five-year Bataan Death March.

We marveled at our youthful inability to see through their veneers of vanity. Why didn’t we recognize the face of narcissism? Why were we addicted to an inflated sense of self-importance, an extreme preoccupation with themselves, and little ability to feel empathy? (narcissism, as defined by the NIH here). We would stop hanging out with a girlfriend revealing these traits. Did we think we could “fix” them?

Sustained now by warm pie, we explored two ideas: Teaching our boys to be “good boyfriends” and teaching our girls to quickly recognize a “bad boyfriend” and move away from him just as swiftly.

Could “bad boyfriends” learn to be “good boyfriends”?

The title of this post is a line from Feist’s song, “Brandy Alexander,” which is really a sweet song.

what’s on the other side ♫

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For me, 2011 was relatively drama-free: Employed (and enjoying it), happy (content even!), and healthy. Highlights included two trips home with a ludicrous sum of fun with friends; finding Feist; teaching at my alma mater; a yellow school bus stopping at our house and watching our five-year-old skip merrily onto it. A vast improvement over 2010!

The last highlight was The Muppets movie.

I wish you many Rainbow Connections in 2012.